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Friday, September 22, 2000I finished the painting of three red plums as well as an educational and productive summer season. I look forward to what comes next, as it seems I've only been gaining momentum toward what should be a powerful new body of work.
Click on the image to see a larger version.Read on...to Fall of 2000
Thursday, September 21, 2000I am so close to finishing this painting. I think if I just block in a few key areas tomorrow this piece should be brought to a solid resolution.
Wednesday, September 20, 2000I started a massive 40 by 60 inch painting of three deep red plums. With great gusto and ambition I mixed massive amounts of paint, almost twice as much as I needed. I laid down a lively foundation, full of energy and color. At this point the forecast for Thursday is for rain all day, but hopefully I will be able to roll with the changes enough to wrap this up tomorrow. This does not feel like quite the leap of effort I thought it would be, despite being fully twice as large as any other painting I've done in these past two months.
Tuesday, September 19, 2000I've had a very frustrating final day of work on the painting of three red peppers. My education and revelation into what creates the different qualities of shadow and shine has made it difficult to maintain continuity in the finish of this piece. I resorted to slashing out the different facets of color with my knife, and I feel that while the final result is colorful and lively, I don't feel that it is a fitful finish to the painting. I believe I only just started to understand how to render the different values of the shine. I still have much to learn.
Saturday, September 16, 2000Once again I continued work on the painting of the three red peppers. I'm exhausted and run down, and I don't feel as though I have the energy to bring this painting over the top to resolution. At least not today. The sun set with all of the spectacular colors of autumn, which of course meant my session was over for the day. Tomorrow is my show in Bel Air, Maryland, so I will take a chance on trying to wrap this up on Monday. I hate to extend the finish of this painting that far, because this is already becoming too stiff and fragmented of an effort to be another cohesive and energetic step along this newest series of works. My education continues.
Friday, September 15, 2000I continued work on the painting of three red peppers. I'm stopping this session early to drive to the Philadelphia area to drop off some paintings at Immaculata College to be juried for a show in February. I also sent out an application to the legendary Coconut Grove Arts Festival in Florida, so my day in the studio was not as productive as it could have been. I will continue work on this painting tomorrow, and hopefully finish it.
Thursday, September 14, 2000I wrapped up the painting of the three black plums. I've learned a lot with these deep and rich colors, and once again I feel that the painting has accelerated itself into a resolution that seems almost beyond what my hands have done.
Click on the image to see a larger versionI had so much fun painting the red peppers on Tuesday that I decided to attack another huge study of them. Just to change things around a bit, I decided to set the arrangement on a much lower surface, so I am looking down on a vertically stacked arrangement of objects. And once again I used the yellowish Murillo paper as the background, as in the previous painting of the plums. I only just got started with blocking in the colors before the sky grew dark. I will be finishing this piece tomorrow.
Wednesday, September 13, 2000Today I started another huge canvas of three black plums. At one point I questioned my abilities to effectively render these very dark pieces of fruit. I feel that I have come very close to wrapping up this piece, although it really does need at least a few more hours of work to fully carve out a solid finish. One thing I have come to realize with these last two paintings is that no matter how tough it becomes to understand the colors and shapes, the secret is to keep applying more paint, and keep moving forward with the evolution of color decisions and brushwork. It takes a tremendous amount of energy and focus to maintain this pace, but I feel that I am making some bold strides forward in my education.
Tuesday, September 12, 2000I decided to find out if I could start and finish a huge painting in one session, while still creating a work that smacks of depth, resolution, color and control. I've had a handful of peppers from a friend's garden which I've watched turn from green to orange to brilliant red over the past few weeks. Just to shake things up a bit, I set up an odd composition where two of the peppers become parallel slashes of brilliant color. I feel that this is an exciting and powerful painting, which seems to have met my criterion with what I consider to be a solid and finished piece after only one session. I will see if I can do this again tomorrow.
Click on the image to see a larger version
Sunday, September 10, 2000Ah, home again after a long weekend. Not only did I leave many of my major works with new homes in Delaware, but I also won the award for Best of Show (alright, only one of 10 Best of Show awards out of 300 artists). All in all it was a wonderful weekend, two excellent days spent at a well organized show in a beautiful park. I'm looking forward to getting back to work.
Friday, September 8, 2000Finished, just in time to race off to set up for the show this weekend.
Click on the image to see a larger version
Thursday, September 7, 2000I made yet more progress on the painting of three tomatoes. I still have a few large and sweeping adjustments to make to some of the broader areas tomorrow. I think this will then be finished, and just in time for me to leave for the Brandywine Artshow in Wilmington, Delaware this weekend.
Wednesday, September 6, 2000I continued work on the giant painting of three tomatoes. I discovered a new approach to finding the deep and saturated reds. In certain areas I'm actually not using any red at all, but instead I'm using alizarin crimson and cadmium yellow in very balanced amounts, with permanent green to control the lightness and brightness. It is very effective for those areas that seem actually "redder than red". On a side note, my new easel just arrived today. The thing is massive and amazing.
Tuesday, September 5, 2000I started a giant painting of the three tomatoes, despite many interruptions and distractions. I will continue work on this painting tomorrow, and probably finish it on Thursday.
Monday, September 4, 2000 Labor DayI quickly finished the small painting of three tomatoes. I will treat this as a study for a much larger version of the same painting which I shall begin tomorrow.
Click on the image to see a larger version
Sunday, September 3, 2000I have no idea how I ever worked on such small canvases in the past. The daisies seemed to all wilt in unison by morning, and I could not find a way to move forward on yesterday's painting. Rather than take a poorly placed step forward, I took a definitive and positive step backwards and scraped off the paint and restarted a whole new painting. The black background made rendering the light and space too difficult, and I kept hearing the phrase "Velvet Elvis" as I grappled with what should have been a swift and decisive finish. I set three red tomatoes in a row and pounded out a small, simple and solid piece. I would like to see what this looks like in the bright light of day tomorrow. Chances are that this, too, has gone as far as it can go. Needless to say, I feel like I'm traveling in circles in what should be meaningful steps forward in my education.
Saturday, September 2, 2000For a change of pace I decided to start a small painting of a bouquet of white Gerber daisies. The small canvas seems minuscule compared to my past few paintings, and I accidentally mixed enough paint to cover the surface three times over. I also decided to set up a black background just to stretch my abilities with finding color within the contrast. I will finish this painting tomorrow.
Friday, September 1, 2000I finished the painting. I feel that I made some strides forward in my understanding of rendering one color into another while still finding transitions from light to dark. I also feel that I have gained a little more insight into the subtle cues suggested by brighter colors as played against more muted tones. This has been a very challenging piece, but I feel that I have successfully resolved the many issues in dealing with these colorful apples.
Click on the image to see a larger version
Thursday, August 31, 2000I continued work on the painting of the gala apples. I have found many subtle variations within the transitions of red to yellow and green. I was having a difficult time blocking out some of the larger areas, as the light kept changing throughout the day. I shall hopefully be finishing this painting tomorrow.
Wednesday, August 30, 2000I started a painting of gala apples. The many stripes and fades of yellow into red should prove to be a challenging exercise for me. I also decided to vary the spacing of the apples, and I'm already finding some variety in the changing saturation of light in the spaces between the objects. Today's session was cut short by a sudden storm that came up and plunged the studio into darkness.
Tuesday, August 29, 2000I finally finished the painting of three red delicious apples. Click here to see the finished painting.
Monday, August 28, 2000I remember an interesting quote about how prize fighters say that the swing that misses takes more energy than the swing that connects. With that, I would say that many of my swings on this painting have not hit the mark, and we continue to circle each other in the ring. I'm putting a larger amount of energy into wrapping up this painting than the previous one where every stroke was a stroke forward, and the knock-out happened after two solid sessions. Tomorrow, I hope.
Sunday, August 27, 2000I returned from a short trip to New York City late last night, and today I wasted no time getting back to work on the painting I started on Wednesday. Much of the paint surface had skinned over despite being covered, so I spent the bulk of today's session bringing the painting up to speed for what will hopefully be the final session tomorrow.
Wednesday, August 23, 2000I started another giant painting of three red delicious apples. In addition to a different background color I decided to zoom back and allow a little more space to surround the subjects. I have been developing the idea of pursuing new explorations of these different subjects in a series of similar studies. I feel that some of the stronger images deserve more attention with varying arrangements and interpretations.
Tuesday, August 22, 2000I had the pleasure of the company of Nicole for another portrait session today, just to see how much I really don't know about painting a portrait. I radically changed everything about the painting in an effort to resolve this piece. Instead, of course, I was only confronted with my own inability in capturing her poise and presence. I am no further along in my capturing of a likeness, but I feel that the painting is now much more interesting and dynamic. If she offers herself for another session in the next few days, I may be able to finish this painting.
Ones reach should always exceed ones grasp.
Sunday, August 20, 2000I just returned from the Mount Gretna Outdoor Art Show. Several fairly recent paintings have been purchased for private collections. I am looking forward to getting back to work in the studio, although I may be taking a short trip this week. We shall see.
Friday, August 18, 2000Today was even darker than yesterday, but I feel I was able to bring this painting to a strong and colorful finish. I feel that this piece will be a powerful addition to my current body of work, and its broad strokes and bold colors will nicely complement some of my recent floral paintings.
Click on the image to see a larger versionNow I must prepare for this weekend's exhibition in Mount Gretna.
Thursday, August 17, 2000I found myself at the grocery store in the middle of the night, staring at the fruits and vegetables. The moon was bright and full as I walked out into the parking lot with nothing but a small bag of bold and angular red delicious apples. Today I set three of them up by my western window, and started a 30 by 40 canvas. All of them are leaning rakishly to one side like thugs in a lineup. The overcast sky allowed me to work without interruption until it was almost dark. Typically the direct sunlight streaming through the western windows becomes more and more of an obstacle as afternoon turns into evening. This painting is already quite cohesive, and tomorrow I will only be working up the surfaces and carving out a little more color to bring it to a finish.
Wednesday, August 16, 2000Despite maintaining fresh water and all of the additives designed to prolong the life of the cut flowers, the bouquet of sunflowers withered continuously throughout today's session. They did not wilt in the poetic and lyrical way of the Van Gogh Sunflowers series, but instead they merely turned dark and went limp like weeds, every one of them dropping its face to look down. The painting has been turned back into a neutral ground, and I will once again be prowling the grocery stores and flower shops in search of my next subject. I have two more days to paint before my exhibition this coming weekend in Mount Gretna.
Tuesday, August 15, 2000I decided to start another study of the same bouquet of sunflowers. This time I am working a bit larger, and I'm using a different colored background. I look forward to tomorrow's session.
Sunday, August 13, 2000I wound up having an excellent day of exploration and education. Because of the overcast skies I was able to find many intricate nuances to what would otherwise be glaring brilliant yellows within the sunflowers. I was able to find depth and contrast within the colors, as well as discovering many interesting elements in the dark centers of the flowers. The carafe being filled with the stems provided an interesting study in what happens to the greens with the glare on the glass and the haze in the water. The sunflowers did grow and change considerably throughout the day, but I was able to make the necessary adjustments to follow them.
Click on the image to see a larger version.As a result of this painting session, I have really enjoyed working with sunflowers. I feel that I now have a deeper understanding and appreciation of what they have to offer to my ongoing education.
Saturday, August 12, 2000Today I started a mid-sized painting of a large bouquet of small sunflowers. I've repeatedly avoided painting these flowers because of my inability to find depth within the brilliant saturated yellows. Perhaps I will conquer these pitfalls with this painting.
We shall see.
Thursday, August 10, 2000I'm almost finished with the painting of the irises. I found some powerful yet subtle cues within the clear glass carafe to describe the depth and light within the glass and water. The colors of the irises are fascinating to explore; the vivid blue and violet is a striking contrast to the tiny accents of brilliant yellow. I will take another look at this painting in the light of day tomorrow and decide if there are any last adjustments to make before I scratch my signature into the wet paint.
Click on the image to see a larger version.
Wednesday, August 9, 2000I continued work on the painting of the irises. I made the decision to insert a yellow apple to balance out the composition. If the vase were anything other than a clear glass carafe I don't think the addition would have been necessary, but no matter how defined the glass would be, it would never register as a strong enough compositional element for the limited range of fairly subdued colors that make up the rest of the painting. I'm trying some different approaches to my application of paint in an effort to keep the surface from building up too quickly. In an effort to retard the drying process, I'm hanging a cardboard box over the canvas each night to keep air from moving across it and drying the paint. And so far, refrigerating the irises each night seems to be buying me some more working time, although if I don't finish this painting tomorrow I may be trying to follow the flowers as they begin to wither and wilt. All of these extra procedures should afford me the control needed to bring this painting to a solid and colorful finish.
Tuesday, August 8, 2000I started a huge painting of vivid blue irises today. This should be fairly poetic in its profound minimalism with their slender stems in the clear glass carafe. If the flowers don't wilt by tomorrow, this could be an interesting painting.
Sunday, August 6, 2000I just got home from the show in Stone Harbor. On the good side, I managed to keep almost all of my collection intact. I did enjoy some time with my brother Daniel and his wife Lisa on Saturday night, and we were joined by an old friend of mine from many years ago, fellow artist Eva Wittlinger. It has been ten years or so since she and I have last seen each other, but it seemed as though no time had passed at all. After dinner all four of us walked along the beach with our bare feet in the water. This time we all spent together made the weekend enjoyable and memorable.
And after they all left, I sat alone on a bench on the short boardwalk. The waves crashed in the darkness and I felt the breeze blowing on my face.
Friday, August 4, 2000No sun today, and I'm leaving early this afternoon for the show in Stone Harbor. My father used to rent a house for a week on the bay side of Stone Harbor and every summer my brothers and I would pile into his car for our short vacation. I'm familiar with the murky water of the bay, crab traps, the sounds of seagulls in the morning and the heavy fog that would roll in at night. It's been many years since I've been to any American beach, so this should be an interesting weekend.
Thursday, August 3, 2000I worked a little more on the portrait of Nicole, and I obviously have much to learn about painting. I tried to start another painting toward the end of the day, but I'm having a hard time focusing as I prepare for my upcoming show this weekend.
Wednesday, August 2, 2000I'm finally done with the giant painting of three pears. The pears have been changing color over the past four days, and I became mired in the rendering of the color transition as a study of details. Today I took major steps backwards in the rendering of details, and instead I blocked out some of the larger areas with broad strokes and bold colors.
Click on the image to see a larger version.
Tuesday, August 1, 2000I continued work on both the portrait and the painting of three pairs. Neither were finished, although they are both very near completion. Tomorrow I should be wrapping these up and starting on a new painting.
Monday, July 31, 2000I started the day working on the giant painting of three pears. I feel that I made some progress on the development of the shapes and colors, but it is obvious that this painting will still need another day to bring it to completion.
I continued work on the painting of Nicole, only to realize how much of the language of portraiture I had lost in the past year since my last attempt at a portrait. I was not prepared for so many elements of painting to come crashing down on me at once. Aside from further developing the color and definition, I was repeatedly sidetracked with my inability to achieve even a general likeness to Nicole. This is doing well to humble me and make me re-examine my powers of observation and interpretation.
Sunday, July 30, 2000I am finally back in the studio. Just to shake things up a bit, I started the day with a portrait of Nicole, a lovely young woman I met only a week ago. I managed a good start on what should have been a fairly fast painting, but I was not totally prepared for all of the nuances of color within a portrait. Before I was able to resolve many of the crucial areas, the session had to be ended fairly early.
I wasted no time starting a giant painting of three green and red pears in a row. This should be an interesting study of the transitions from red to green.
Yesterday I exhibited at the Lititz Outdoor Artshow. The painting of the Three Green Apples (also known as Granny Smith) won the award for Best of Show, and shortly afterwards it was purchased for a private collection. In the past three weeks it has become my flagship piece, both in its size and its boldness of stroke and gesture. Many people will notice its absence from the collection, and none so much as myself.
Tuesday, July 25, 2000I finished the painting today. I feel that I reeled it back in from the verge of being overdone by taking a step back from the details and using larger brushes, larger amounts of paint and larger color decisions.
Click on the image to see a larger version.
Monday, July 24, 2000Today was overcast, although I did spend some time developing the painting and refining some of the color decisions. I feel that I am settling into a set formula of development for my works, and despite changing the subjects and alternating from western light to eastern light I feel that I am becoming mired in a certain mode of operation that is more productive than investigative. I would like to hopefully wrap up this painting in a zestful and lively manner tomorrow, and then I have some other ideas of different directions I may pursue. For the past week I've been reading a book of letters coinciding with the different paintings of Vincent van Gogh (a birthday gift from my brother Darren and his family). Yesterday I read the letter by Gaugin marveling over a portrait Vincent slammed out in only three quarters of an hour. They have several similar portraits to which the letter may refer, and none of them look like they could have been an execution of such speed and brevity. Maybe the long days of summer are giving me too much option to slow down, and my formula of two days on a painting has become too flexible to include a third session. I am familiar with the surge of nervous energy required to hit a canvas with such fury, and I feel that I haven't known such a peak of performance for several weeks, if not months. I am also open to the notion that any of my paintings could be the exciting product of only several hour's work if I would only sign the piece at the end of the first session and be done with it. This is all worth some careful consideration, as the extra days and hours may only be diluting the life and power of the paintings in the name of polish and detail.
Sunday, July 23, 2000I made the decision to scrape off the canvas from yesterday's effort and get a fresh start on another arrangement of only three apples. Maybe it is too easy to make three similar objects settle well on a canvas, yet I still feel that there is a myriad of intriguing little areas of study within the colors and shapes. And as always, the softer light of the eastern windows reveals a brilliance of color and modeling which is both challenging and thrilling to explore. I shall continue work on this painting tomorrow and hopefully finish it.
Saturday, July 22, 2000At the show last weekend in Penn State, I heard several comments concerning my choices of numbers of apples in some of my paintings. One or three had a "whole" and comfortable feel, only two was disquieting, and somebody suggested that five might be a good number. So in the spirit of a true adventurer, I started a larger painting of five yellow delicious apples. I spent a great amount of time finding all the different ways to arrange five apples, by both the eastern and western windows, and I settled on what seemed to be a good compromise of a front row of two and a back row of three. Just for the added element of subtlety within the painting I decided on using the softer light of the eastern windows. I thought I would find an interesting play between the lost edges of overlapping shapes and the intimate spaces between the apples that were not overlapping each other. Instead I learned some valuable lessons about the power of the shapes of the spaces between and around the different objects. I developed this composition for several hours, but I really don't think this arrangement will ever sit well with me. I shall look at it again in the morning and decide if I should continue.
Friday, July 21, 2000I finished the painting of the roses in the carafe. The painting was almost finished at the end of yesterday's session, and I barely did more than to further develop some of the colors in the flowers and leaves. The simplicity of many of the marks of the carafe and especially the redness of the thorns on the stems in the carafe were best left as broad and bold descriptions of the suggested details.
Click on the image to see a larger version.
Thursday, July 20, 2000I finally got back to work after a long weekend, several days of being ill, and several days of rain. I started a mid-sized canvas of pale roses in a clear glass carafe. I've found a great dislike for roses from my last few experiences spent trying to paint them. I decided to meet the challenge head on and try to figure out what it is that evades me with this subject. It seems that I am not over my exhaustion, as I've been finding myself sweating and feverish after I am well into the painting session. I will wrap up today's session early and try to get some rest, as I've been battling exhaustion for two weeks at this point, and I can't afford to lose any more time or energy.
The show in State College turned out to be successful, and once again I have dispersed several more of my paintings to various private collections. And once again I feel that strange sense of loss as pieces I've grown to admire have been embraced by others and taken away. At this point I am selling my work as fast as I can create it, and it's obvious that every painting I finish will only be in my possession until it is dry enough to display. I now have achieved the success that many artists spend years striving to reach, and I am learning some sobering realities of this new life that I have chosen.
Wednesday, July 12, 2000I finished the small painting of the two Granny Smith apples. Now I'm packing the van and heading out for a four day weekend at the Central Pennsylvania Festival of the Arts in State College, PA. And incidentally, tomorrow is my birthday, and I'll be a hundred and ninety seven years old.
Tuesday, July 11, 2000I decided to start a small canvas of two of the Granny Smith apples. I am attempting to sum up all I've learned about the many variations of green from my last painting, although I feel as though I'm learning it all from the very beginning all over again. I will without a doubt be finishing this painting tomorrow, because I will be leaving in the late afternoon for my upcoming weekend at Penn State University for the Festival of the Arts.
Sunday, July 9, 2000I'm back from my short trip to New York City. What a blast. Upon my arrival on Thursday night, Philip and his roommate Brooke dragged me up to the roof of their flat in Brooklyn to enjoy a few pints of Guinness in view of the sprawling New York skyline. Here is Phil's cat Ramses. On Friday morning we all set out across Manhattan to see a Harrier jet doing maneuvers over the aircraft carrier Intrepid. Here is a helicopter flying by some of the tall ships that were still docked after the July 4th OpSail 2000. After a late lunch I had a chance to meet Phil's German friend Christian. What a nice guy, and just when I thought Germans couldn't be any more warm and cuddly. We used my van to move a mattress from Manhattan to Queens, and then Phil and I set out to drink all of the Guinness in Brooklyn and Manhattan. We gave up at around three in the morning. Trying to sleep a little later on Saturday morning was made a little difficult by the two marching bands that went by the windows at the crack of dawn. I love Brooklyn. Saturday went by quickly, as Phil had to be at work later in the afternoon. I did manage to pick up some new brushes. I bought several smaller ones, and several really huge ones. After lunch at Burritoville and a quick espresso at Starbucks, we bid farewell. I then swung by Philadelphia to meet up with an old acquaintance from many years ago that I happened to see at the Manayunk Artshow. What are the odds? That visit was nice but too short.
So much for rest and relaxation, although I am feeling worlds better.
Thursday, July 6, 2000I finished the painting of the green apples. I've been feeling a bit under the weather these past few days, and I feel as though this painting has been draining me of my health and my energy. The amounts of paint necessary for even small and subtle adjustments are staggering, and I put a great amount of effort into this piece. I'm off to New York City to visit the legendary H. Philip Lauer for a few days of rest and relaxation. Hopefully I will be feeling better upon my return.
Click on the image to see a larger version
Wednesday, July 5, 2000I continued on the development of yesterday's painting. I am finding several different ways to render the lights and shadows within these apples, and I'm amazed with how much red and yellow is in apples of such a deep and vivid green. This is proving to be quite educational for me.
Tuesday, July 4, 2000 Independence DayI started on a huge 30 by 40 inch canvas, this time with an arrangement of three Granny Smith apples. I started out with four of the brilliant green apples, but my decision to remove one of them from the composition threw this giant painting into a fairly rough and muddy foundation. I have never really worked with so many different shades of green within one painting, and this should prove to be a good exercise for me.
Sunday, July 2, 2000I finished yesterday's painting. Even though it appears to only be a larger version of the painting from earlier this week, I tried some different approaches to creating the shape of the flowers without becoming mired in the details of the individual petals.
Saturday, July 1, 2000Ah, such a struggle I've been having.
I started up the large painting of the sunflowers again only to wipe it all back off. It's amazing how much paint I've removed and reapplied over the past two days. I finally resolved to putting the daisies from earlier this week back into commission, and the painting quickly came together. I don't know if it's because I like daisies that I find they lend themselves more to my course of study, or if they're easier to paint which is why I gravitate to the simplicity of the shapes and colors. Either way, I'm well on my way to an exciting and powerful painting. As much as it might seem like only a larger version of Thursday's painting, the underlying foundation of several false starts of different paintings has made a completely different piece of work. This already has a thick and greasy feel to the application of the paint, the richness of the brushwork is bold and lively. This doesn't have the typical qualities of a first day's effort, namely because of the huge amounts of paint I was working and reworking from the previous paintings that were scraped off. I usually can't recycle paint once it has been removed because after only an hour or so, the reaction with the air causes the paint to gel and become elastic and sticky. Fortunately my decisions to scrape off the previous paintings came easily and quickly. I can only hope to apply this decisive clarity of interpretation and action to other elements of my life.
Friday, June 30, 2000I've had three big sunflowers watching me from above my sink for most of last week, and today I finally tried to paint them on a fairly large canvas. After a healthy start I found myself questioning every aspect of the composition. By the time I was done cutting the stems shorter, changing the vase twice and changing the background color, I'm back to an almost blank canvas. I will give it one more try tomorrow.
On a side note, I just received my shipment of 30 by 40 inch canvases. Once my new order of paint arrives I am looking forward to attacking some really huge pieces.
Thursday, June 29, 2000I had a productive day with brilliant sunlight, and I finished yesterday's painting. I feel that this is successful in how I've maintained much of the color and life of the setup while discovering some interesting treatments for the different kinds of edges. I do feel that I could further develop certain areas, but I think this painting has a nice feel to the looseness and freshness of the brushwork.
Click on the image to see a larger version
Wednesday, June 28, 2000I finally was able to get back to work after the weekend in Manayunk and then two days of exhaustion and chaos. I finally found some excellent daisies and kicked off the summer season with a mid-sized painting. These daisies seem different from the others I've painted. The centers of the flowers are large and brilliant yellow, and there is only one flower to each long stem. The stems seem to squirm in every direction, and the arrangement seems awkward at this early point. The light continually faded throughout the day, so while certain areas are coming along nicely, others are muted and grey in the darkness. Tomorrow's forecast is not much better, but I will continue to try to dig up more color and life from this setup.
This past weekend I was in Manayunk, just outside of Philadelphia, for a two day exhibition. I found homes for many more of my paintings. Once again some of my favorite pieces are gone, and my trail from the past up to the present is slowly disappearing. I'm selling my work faster than I can create it. Each painting is a step forward, yet each of my footprints is vanishing behind me.
At one point I had an entire family group in my booth. They were each mentioning which paintings were most appealing to them, and the father said "this one speaks to me." The notion that the painting can "speak" to a person and make a deep connection with them is fascinating to me. I put all of my heart and attention into each piece, yet in view of my entire body of work inevitably some of these paintings are not what I would consider to be the best examples of my complete portfolio. Whether the initial setup was not quite right, or the development, or just the final strokes, some paintings just aren't as strong as others. Of course my own criterion is based on a harsh and technical self-critique with such issues as the strengths and shortcomings of a composition, believable qualities of light and space, and just an overall sense of "rightness". Yet when somebody says they are getting a sense of a dialogue from the painting, I realize that something is always alive and making contact for each person. I don't think that everything I do is totally valid in view of my life's work, but I do now see more value in the different aspects of what I would call finished and resolved. Maybe completing the final strokes of a painting will become less of a torture of anxiety and indecision. Maybe I will relax more and embrace this joy of painting I have heard so much about, and all the love I need I will find within my work and I will be able to pour it back into each new and exciting piece.
No, that would be too easy.
If you find yourself hungering for yet more dramatization of the angst of a painter, see Spring 2000 for the previous season's struggles.
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