The Paintings of David Oleski  Travelogue of Thailand
Twenty Two Days in November of the Year 2002
 
First Day

The flight seemed to go on forever, non-stop from Dulles Airport in DC to Narita Airport in Tokyo. At one point Heather pointed out the rugged snow-covered mountains and valleys of Alaska. Pretty amazing. For some reason after 24 hours in an airplane, you start to feel that your entire life was spent in that one place. We hit the ground running in Bangkok, waded through the hawkers trying to push us into cabs, found the cheap bus to Khao Sun Road, and even found seats for the 45 minute ride through Bangkok. We arrived into the heat and confusion of the Bunglampu district, booked a room with a balcony overlooking the street at the Sawasdee Hotel, dropped off our bags and escaped into the mayhem. What a circus Khao Sun Road is, with all the tour agencies, bars and cafes and street vendors selling everything from clothing to roasted roaches and grubs and grasshoppers. The street is clogged with travelers of all shapes and colors, some sweating under the load of one or more massive backpacks, or scampering around wearing tie-dye, dreadlocks and sunburn, tuk-tuks (strange little three wheeled taxis) keep blasting through the crowd, a haze is hanging in the air from car exhaust and smoke from all the food vendors' fires, music is blasting from every stand selling bootleg CDs and software, every bar and cafe is blasting music into the street, people wearing hill tribe clothing are constantly stepping in front of you to sell their crafts, every which way you look is something else to eat. We buy a few skewers of roasted squid (the first of many great meals of squid), and then we buy a pair of banana and chocolate crepes. Not feeling quite steady on our own feet yet, we head back to our hotel. The massive front lobby of the hotel is a maze of couches and tables and chairs and lounge areas, with several rows of tables under an awning on the sidewalk. We grabbed a seat and ordered some noodles and seafood, and a few sweating bottles of Carlsberg beer which we drank while reading under the dim lights until late in the morning. We were exhausted and restless at the same time, and we made our way up to our room to get some sleep.


Day Two

Here in the middle of a massive sprawling city, we were awakened by the crowing of roosters. We washed up at the communal bathrooms at the end of each floor of the hotel and walked a few blocks to one of the few restaurants that actually had actual brewed coffee. Breakfast of muesli and fruit and yogurt, a banana pancake, a mixed fruit shake and a cup of dark, rich coffee. We headed back to the hotel to relax for a bit, and I sat out on the balcony to read. The sweltering heat made everything seem surreal, the noises of the street grew louder and louder as more and more people woke up. Music wafted up from the cafe down below, echoing off the buildings, Dire Straits, Brittney Spears, ColdPlay. The blinding sun and immense heat had an almost narcotic effect, as though I was not only in another place, but another time as well.

We walked to the Grand Palace and the Temple of the Emerald Buddha, and spent several hours touring the amazing spread of buildings. Every square inch of some of the temples was covered in tiles and pieces of colored glass and mirrors, the amount of detail is mind boggling. We found our way back to Khao Sun Road and had a lunch of rice and squid in a curry sauce, lemon grass soup and spicy squid salad. We headed back to the hotel and did some research on where we wanted to go next. Took a short nap, then headed down to our hotel lobby, drank Carlsberg and read until they turned the lights down, then walked back to Khao Sun Road and picked up a shirt and a skirt for Heather for the heat. We sat down for a meal of grilled squid and prawn, then walked down the street a little further and sat down for yet another meal of noodles and more squid, and suddenly realized we were totally exhausted. As we walked back to our hotel we saw someone leading a small elephant along the sidewalk, and for some reason it didn't seem strange at all. We laid down dirty and passed out despite the amazing noise welling up from the street below. I woke up after a few hours and sat on the balcony to read until they turned out the streetlights.


Day Three

As we were repacking everything and getting ready to go, Heather pointed out one of our cats' claws on the floor, and a tuft of carpet from their scratching post on the balcony. There is something charming about knowing that we're leaving little pieces of our cats in Bangkok. The sun doesn't seem to be coming out as we went out for breakfast of muesli and yogurt and fruit, banana pancakes and coffee. We picked up another shirt for Heather, and a cheap watch to keep track of the time which seems to rush and lag depending on the time of day and how tired we are, or how hot it is. I saw a big espresso machine in front of a cafe, so I had to stop for a small cup.

For some reason, we couldn't communicate to the tuk-tuk driver that we wanted to go to the bus station to go to Ayuthaya, so instead we wound up at the train station. I was given a lesson on proper pronunciation of Ayuthaya by a travel agent, it's "AH-yoo tie-YAH", and then he further instructed me that nobody will know what I'm saying unless there is an obvious pause between the two parts of the word, so it's now "AH-yoo *pause* tie-YAH", and ultimately showing as many teeth as possible when saying it as well. Thanks to the tuk-tuk driver, we found ourselves crowded into a third class train, instead of a clean and comfortable bus. The cost was about 15 baht per person, totaling about 75 cents for both of us, for the five hour train ride. Along a train tracks you can see people living in their (almost) natural state right up to the edge of the tracks. Corrugated steel shacks almost touch the sides of the train, laundry is hung so the flapping sleeves brush along the passing train, and the belching black smoke from the locomotive is blown right into the homes of people along the railroad tracks. From the endless rancid and fetid canals bloom wonderful forests of foliage. From the piles of trash stewing in the festering sewers, every single weed and bush and lily pad springs to life with great bursts of colorful flowers. On the third class train we were packed in with families and children, and food vendors were sitting on the floor, with all of their baskets stacked in the walkway, all of them constantly sharing food amongst themselves as though it was just a big picnic to be on a train. A vendor came through our car selling dried squid on a stick - "squid jerky" as Heather called it. We bought two sticks, and to the amazement of everyone around us we happily ate the leathery stuff. The squid jerky vendor walked back through a few minutes later and laughed when he saw we were finished already. For miles upon miles the train was on the only raised levee of dry land, and in all directions was water, as far as we could see to the clouds on the far horizon. Here and there, in the middle of vast flooded fields we could see a single straw hut above the water, with a long-tailed boat moored to a ladder. At one point, about a quarter mile from the tracks, I could see two people, each sitting in their own boat, in the middle of vast field of shallow water, talking as though they were waiting at a stop light. I guess with two boats and a train going by it was like rush hour to them. Finally off the train, we walked toward the town in an exodus of road-weary travelers, climbed into a rickety ferry to take us across the rushing brown river to the town. It was like a nightmare I think I once had.

We booked a room at the Ayuthaya Guesthouse. We had a quick dinner of noodles and squid, then took the night tour of seven of the nine major temples of Ayuthaya. Ayuthaya was the capital of Thailand until it was sacked and destroyed by the Burmese army in 1767. Left in ruins, the jungle reclaimed everything, and the temples were partially reconstructed to look like ruins where originally there was almost nothing more than a few small piles of bricks. The ruins were supposed to be impressively lit up at night, but all of the wiring and light fixtures had obviously been stolen. Instead we were stumbling through the dark amid clouds of mosquitoes to get a glimpse of the vast structures that were barely visible in the glow of the dim streetlights. Of course I couldn't help but wonder how amazing some of these temples might have been, and what kind of a country Thailand was back then, and if one would have been confronted by hawkers trying to sell a hammock while you're hopping from one stepping stone to the next across a rancid little canal, in the dark.

I was barely able to sleep that night. Our room was on the second floor facing the main street. The noise never seemed to stop with the constant traffic, dogs in a barking and snarling contest right below our window, and even later during the night some giggling moron setting off firecrackers for almost an hour in front of our hotel. Ah yes, fun times in a small town.


Day Four

We jumped up and packed to the sound of crowing roosters. We had a breakfast of muesli and yogurt and a pancake and coffee, took the ferry across the muddy nightmare river, and then walked through a ratty part of town to the bus station, and then the endless bus ride to Sukhothai - miles and miles of nothing, just flat, endless, flooded plains, arriving late in the afternoon.
A brief dissertation on culture shock: The bus from Ayuthaya to Sukhothai pulls over at the first rest stop. Under a high awning is an entire rest stop service city, with dried shrink wrapped food, candy, cooler cases of water, beer, soda, people roasting chicken on skewers over charcoal, all in service to the stopping buses. I always feel like a total stranger in these places; the normal food is unfamiliar enough, but the fast food is even more foreign. We buy some squid jerky, but it's drier and harder than boot leather, like trying to chew wood. We toss it and then pick up a package of shiny dried fish, with sesame seeds stuck to the hard shiny surface. We each eat one and our mouth ignite in flame. We immediately buy water and toss the fish. For lack of anything else, we buy a bag of dried banana chips and climb back onto the bus. We struggle to get back to our seats, and Heather is a bit riled about everything, tripping over people's legs, not knowing what the food is, feeling everyone's stare, so she sat and fumed for a bit before explaining that she was struggling with the culture shock. For some reason I had never equated that awkward sense of displacement and the overwhelming conspicuous feeling as actual culture shock. I just assumed it was that same embarrassing sense of being alone with your own point of view, singular in an opinion, or just the feeling of being the only person going through certain motions. At home, in the states, we've been taught "it's rude to stare", as though studying someone with our eyes could possibly gain us some understanding of the differences between us. After a lifetime of acknowledging that "one shalt not stare unto others", another culture will seem "rude" for staring at us. Usually we could disarm a stare with a smile or an acknowledgment or a hello, but more often than not is seems as though the stare has no respect or insight, no quest for understanding, only to gaze at an oddity which happens to be a person who already feels completely out of place with the patronizing disapproval of an entire culture. Nobody is right, wrong or rude, we are all very much the same, but with generations of the cultivation of different rules of social behavior. Culture shock.

Upon getting off of the bus we were immediately confronted by an articulate Thai man, who welcomed us to stay at his guesthouse. He offered us a ride in his nice new pickup truck, so we could see the place for ourselves and decide. As it turned out it was a nice guesthouse, right in the middle of the Old City section of Sukhothai. We dropped off our bags, ran out to have dinner, then decided we were still hungry. We walked through the open air market, and were given a free sample of some sweetly marinated fish. Heather was ready to buy and eat handfuls of it, until I pointed out that everything is/was crawling with flies, and served unheated. Neither of us were ready for such a culinary adventure just yet. We went back to the hotel and finally slept well.


Day Five

We had breakfast and then rented bicycles from our guesthouse, for about a buck for two bikes, for all day. We rode through and around the old city, and took a detour off of the paved road onto a dirt lane that disappeared into the fields. We went from the middle of nowhere to the middle of even less, riding by small herds of livestock, ratty little huts built on stilts over fetid ponds, people slaving under the hot sun, working in the rice paddies by hand. After we realized that the dirt road would just go on forever, we turned around and started back toward town. We rode around some of the reconstructed ruins for another hour or so before heading back to our hotel. Then it was off to the open market for some squid and fish (cooked, thankfully), then we decided on a second lunch of fried garlic and pepper squid, soup, egg and rice, more water and then more water. Suddenly the heat, the intensity of the sunlight and the wood smoke all added up to my head pounding, and everything started to have a halo of glare around it. Two aspirin, laid down in front of the fan, almost falling asleep, and then I'm fine again.

We go out to dinner after a shower, then I decide to find a place to read. Instead I'm caught up in a conversation with Tom, the guesthouse host. I run next door to get a giant bottle of Heineken, and Tom laughs. Apparently it would look ridiculous in a Thai's smalls hands, but it looked about right in my big westerner hands. He seemed to feel strongly about telling me his entire life story, so I patiently listened while a cloud of gnats swarmed around us. Suddenly I'm stung on the shoulder by a small wasp. Ah, the rich and piercing flame of pain, that seems to swell deeper and deeper into my shoulder until it finally reaches a peak and passes. I have to take Heather's word for it when she described the giant red ring that formed around it.

We step out into the night to eat again, and once again I feel as though I cannot get enough to eat. We slept like babies.


Day Six

We wake up, have a breakfast of corn flakes and yogurt, espresso and a pancake that was more like egg than cake, then final packing and preparation for the bus the Chiang Mai. Our host Tom lined up a room for us, supposedly someone will meet us at the bus station to take us to the guesthouse. Nothing feels like a sure thing, but we go along anyway.

We're now on the bus, more and more people are squeezing in. The bus seems to start pulling out, and then ten more people squeeze in. A monk shrouded in orange robes files past. Heather tells me it's good luck to have a monk on a bus with you, but obviously not for the last people that were stuck sitting on the floor for lack of seats. And then another stop, three people get off, and ten more people get on, endlessly shuffling about, people are sitting on top of each other, standing in the aisles, leaning on each other for the 6 hour trip. And the division of cultures occurs when a well dressed older woman gets on the bus. Protocol is for a man to give up his seat for a woman, and the same thought goes through the minds of the few other western travelers, "I paid for a seat on a six hour bus ride, then why is it expected of me to surrender my seat when they continue to admit people onto an already packed bus?" A Thai man stands and gives up his seat, and I find myself saying "good, they don't have any respect for us anyway, why should we cater to their social protocol?". Female travelers scamper around in tank tops and gym shorts, yet even when Heather dresses with conservatism, respect and modesty she is stared at by Thai men, and they comment on her and laugh while we're right in front of them. There is more than a whole planet between our worlds.

Arrival in Chiang Mai: So it turns out that a Mr. Chai is waiting at the bus station with a sign with my name. We were quickly delivered to our guesthouse where we dropped off our bags and took off into the city. Chiang Mai is Thailand's second largest city, and the historical section within the fortress walls is totally choked with traffic. It would sometimes take up to 10 minutes to even cross the street, as there was a constant flow of roaring traffic. Our first night in Chiang Mai was a bit much after three days in fairly rural small towns. We were wandering through the endless maze of the night bazaar when I spied a green ringed orb hanging above the distant sidewalk like the moon of hope over the sea of desolation. I couldn't believe it until we got closer and Heather confirmed it for me, it was a Starbucks sign. Ah, the smell of fresh brewed coffee, so many choices, so much coffee. It's amazing the things that can make a traveler so much happier. We returned to the guesthouse and slept like the dead, but not until we arranged a day trip for the next morning to Wat Doi Suthep, the temple on top of the mountain overlooking the city.


Day Seven

We woke up, had breakfast, and jumped into a car with our driver for the day. He introduced himself as "A", or as we addressed him throughout the day as though we were Canadian with "Eh?". The road up the mountain climbed forever, crisscrossing and spiraling back over itself as it ascended. Eh? parked and we then walked up the hill to the base of the 400 steps to the temple. We were both dizzy from the altitude and the exertion, and then we slowly walked up the steps like very old people. Ah, beautiful temple, beautiful view, beautiful trees, every which way we turned was even more beautiful. The quiet, the brilliant sunlight, the altitude, it all added together to everything being fairly breathtaking. We found our way back down to Eh? waiting by his car, and continued on to the queen's residence, which was even higher yet along the mountain ridge. Unfortunately the ticket office was closed for the 2 hour lunch, and anxious to keep moving we went on to our next stop, the Chiang Mai Museum. Heather and I gained a quick history lesson about Thailand from archeological digs up to the transfer of power to Burma and then back to the Thais, the first railroads and then the latest succession of royalty. Then we allowed Eh? to take us to a series of handiwork workshops, where we were educated about the details of such crafts as laquerware, silk weaving, silversmithing and gem stone setting and polishing, jade processing and paper parasol making. In each place an attendant would show us through the educational portion of our tour, only to deposit us into a showroom where they would embark on a hard sell sales pitch for each handiwork. We walked out of the whole experience having been educated and entertained without buying anything at all.

Back at the hotel we found Mr. Chai and immediately assigned him to the task of booking airline tickets to Bangkok to shorten the 14 hour bus ride to a 55 minute flight. Once our plans were ironed out, we walked to a pub, and tossed back a few rounds of Carlsberg while discussing what island we would use to start our southern Thailand adventure. Back to the guesthouse, and once again we slept like the dead.


Day Eight

Jumped up, ran out to have breakfast, and then attempted to book our trip to the island of Koh Tao so we wouldn't be stuck for a night in Bangkok. The attempt failed, so we decided to go for one last hike across the city, with the midpoint destination being the holy distant shrine of Starbucks. Then back to the guesthouse, minibus to the airport, jumped on the plane, next stop - Bangkok.

Ah, back in Bangkok. We were late by four hours to catch the bus to Chumphon, the launch point for the island of Koh Tao. My glasses were fogging up from the heat while we booked the last available room at our same hotel, once again with a balcony overlooking the street. We dropped our bags and set out into the crowded streets in search of food. First we wolfed down a bag of freshly grilled baby squid and shrimp dumplings, then booked our trip for the next day after a quick price comparison of two different travel agencies. Then we sat down and ordered a pair of grilled fish and a pair of giant spicy squids, also grilled. Like so many of the restaurants you can select what you want from what they have on ice in a tray on the sidewalk, usually right next to the grill. The food was excellent, and the sky turned an amazing orange as the setting sun lit up the smog. While we ate I kept tossing the fish guts to a hungry cat. The sky was flashing with lightning while we ordered another round of beer, and the cat kept happily eating more and more of the fish parts I tossed. Amazing how much food a scrawny little cat can eat. Just when I noticed a gecko on the wall pounce and eat a fly, the cat pounced and ate the gecko. Hmm, that means something, doesn't it? After several gusts of wind a curtain of rain swept up the street, and everyone scattered. We found our way back to our hotel while "The Man Who Sold the World" by Nirvana was blasting through the lobby over the din of the crowd. Time once again stood still as we relaxed in the open-air hotel lobby reading our books.

When the rain stopped, we went out for banana and chocolate crepes, then came back to the hotel and passed out.


Day Nine

We jumped up, showered and ran out for breakfast. I sat on the balcony, reading and having a cigar. The heat and the music rising up from the street once again felt like something from a dream. We ate lunch and after a series of false starts we finally boarded a minibus for the trip south. The cramped minibus drove on forever to the port town of Chumphon. At one of the rest stops, another passenger walks up to me to ask if I'm American. As it turns out, she is from Boston, and she immediately tells me that her boyfriend just dumped her by email only three days before, and she only found out when she returned to Katmandu from a trek in Nepal and checked her email, and how he found someone else and wanted to end things with her, and how she decided to go to Koh Tao for scuba diving certification just to take her mind off of it; and all of this before I even had a chance to introduce Heather as she returned from the rest room. Cheryl became our new little friend for the duration of the night's trip.

At  midnight we finally piled out of the minibus in Chumphon, and waited by a little travel agency while they compiled the passengers for the all night boat ride to Koh Tao. We had a small amount of time to find food before the boat ride, so the three of us went to a brightly lit sushi restaurant a few doors up the street. We walked in seeing brightly lit pictures of what looked like traditional sushi across the top of the back wall of the restaurant, and the menu was emblazoned with similar images. Cheryl wasn't wearing glasses, and figured she would just point at pictures and select what looked good, but Heather and I started reading the details of what Thailand considers to be sushi. We found beef heart, lungs, livers and all kinds of pig entrails and odds and ends, and raw chicken livers artfully rolled in rice and seaweed and sliced and arranged, and barely a single piece of fish on the entire menu. Hoo boy, we were surprised. We immediately dragged Cheryl out of there, as she wondered what could have been so bad about the menu. Instead we settled into a little family restaurant and settled for rice and noodles and squid and prawn, paying our bill and scampering out just in time to pile into the minibus again for the final trip to the pier.

For some reason I imagined that the night boat would be a specially fitted passenger boat, maybe with reclining seats, or maybe even some nice bunks. Instead I find myself cautiously inching down a long, leaning, slippery steel gangplank to a ratty little cargo boat, and hop onto the deck next to a half dozen huge fidgeting pigs in stacked cages, each laying on their sides, each in their own cramped cage. We first stumbled through the crowded lower deck, and as our eyes adjusted to the lack of light we saw other travelers in the darkness, huddled against the walls with their bags. We tried to make it to the upper deck, but saw that it was already filled with bags and people, so we made our way back down below. We all lined up on the floor, feet toward the center of the boat, our heads along the outside. There was a huge floor to ceiling door open by the only free space on the floor, and the black shiny water of the bay was only two feet away from our heads as we laid down. As we wait to depart from the pier, more and more people arrive and pile into the boat. Surrounding us all in the lower deck was appliances in boxes, and piles of bricks and bags of mortar, and the sense of weight in that little boat was a little unnerving. To make more room they kept re-stacking the appliance boxes, and the lack of organization was also a little unsettling. It was fun seeing the look of dawning horror on the newcomer's faces when they realized what the night's adventure held for them. When we were finally packed in side by side like refugees, they started up the engine and slowly pulled out.

And despite the roaring of the engines and the hard wooden floor and the rushing of the black water by my head, I fell asleep.


Day Ten

It was the silence in the hour before sunrise that woke me up. Nothing but still water disappearing into the dark haze of the distance could be seen through the open door by our heads. Bit by bit everyone woke up as the cargo ferry was pulled up to the dock. We clambered out in darkness and said goodbye to Cheryl, and Heather and I jumped into a songtao, one of the pickup trucks customized for passengers with padded bench seats. We drove through the port town of Mae Haad and then into the jungle.

We had arbitrarily selected the beach of Chalok Baan Kao as a destination only because of it being described as the prettiest beach, at the south end of the island. We jumped out of the songtao and were immediately greeted by a mangy pack of about 20 stray dogs that were stalking the empty beach. We escaped onto a narrow boardwalk that disappeared around an outcropping of rocks just to be able to get some perspective to think about where to go next. Resorts were crowded in along the beach, and everything had the dingy weather faded look of decrepitude. Heather spotted an isolated complex of bungalows on stilts along the water on the far side of the bay, so we set off to find a way across. They were cut off from the beach we were on by another rock outcropping, so we found a road into the woods and starting climbing up a ridiculously steep incline above the beach. We felt like we were high up over the jungle again until the road started an equally ridiculous decline back toward the beach, on the other side of a mountain of rocks.

We finally found ourselves in a quiet and isolated resort nestled in its own quiet and isolated cove. We booked a bungalow that was a good distance away from the office, almost at the end of a long rickety boardwalk that zigzagged over the rocks and the water. At high tide our front porch was over the water, and the unbroken view of the bay and the ocean was spectacular. Heather immediately noticed the steep steps down to the sunken bathroom. There were only three steep steps to get fully five feet down to the tiled floor of the bathroom, and we could imagine how slippery the tiled steps would be when they were wet. Hungry for food and rest, we went to the resort's restaurant to order some breakfast. A Norwegian fellow invited us to sit with him at the only available seats. Apparently they were refinishing the floor of the spacious open-air dining room as we arrived, and most of the tables were stacked to the side. I asked if he had been diving yet, and he replied that he had not, due to an accident. He took off his hat to show us a long line of stitches across the top and side of his forehead, and went on to describe slipping on the steep bathroom steps of his bungalow and crashing to the floor while gouging his head open on the corner of a tiled step. Note to self: be careful on the bathroom steps. After breakfast I sat on the porch to read for a bit, and then we took a nap, and I was a bit disoriented when I awoke to the sounds of water lapping at the rocks under the porch. We had a late lunch and then hiked back into the jungle. We made it over the next ridge, and down to the next cove to investigate a nearby dive site. We had dinner at our resort, and then sat on the porch of our bungalow to watch the sunset. It was like something from a movie set; the blaze of colors was reflected in the water like a huge mirror. As it grew darker, the sounds of the jungle around us grew louder and louder.

We slept like babies.


Day Eleven

After breakfast we rented some snorkeling gear and headed out to the next cove. The dive was impressive despite the water being somewhat murky due to it still being the rainy season over the Sea of Thailand. "That was the scariest thing I've ever done" were Heather's words, when we finally returned to shore after snorkeling over the shallow reef. While she took a break on the shore I continued to swim far out where the water grew deeper and deeper, to the point that I couldn't see the bottom through the haze.

We walked back to the bungalow and then hiked several miles through the jungle to the port town of Mae Haad to pick up some new books and have lunch. I had a cup of hot fresh-brewed coffee and then we jumped on a songtao back to the other end of the island. We arrived at our bungalow just in time to take in another amazing sunset. We walked back to the resort restaurant to have a few beers and read. As we walked back on the narrow rickety boardwalk I noticed some huge dark shapes plunging through the air around the boardwalk. I realized these were giant bats, with wingspans of well over two feet. They were clustered in the top of a palm tree a few feet away, and we watched the unworldly spectacle of them taking turns swooping up to grab a palm frond and then quickly crawling across the branches to squeeze in among the others at the center. By moonlight it was like having a view into a normally invisible world.

We slept again like babies.


Day Twelve

We woke up, had breakfast and then headed over to the next cove to rent a sea kayak. Once we got the rhythm of rowing we covered some distance fairly quickly. We made our way far past the southern tip of the island, where the sea floor dropped off sharply as evidenced by the boundary of calm water of the island shelf to the large swells of the open ocean. We turned around to view the island from the distance, and suddenly realized how small we were, and how far away we were as well. From that distance the island looked like a green gem on the water, with a halo of clouds around the peaks of the hills. The little plastic boat rose and fell over the big swells, and Heather once again said, "This is the scariest thing I've ever done."

We returned the kayak and walked back to our resort for a late lunch. We relaxed on the porch of our bungalow until the sun was setting. Once again the giant bats started their aerial acrobatics, this time directly in front of our porch. We walked up the beach again to have dinner, and Heather's stomach started feeling a bit queasy, so she headed back to the bungalow while I stayed to read. Everyone quietly slipped away and turned off the lights, until I was sitting alone under the only light, in the silence on the edge of the vast dark bay. I felt a strange sense of emptiness as I walked down the dark boardwalk along the edge of the dark jungle, to the bungalow, to go to bed.


Day Thirteen

Heather was still not feeling well, so after breakfast I headed into the port town on my own to pick up some more sunblock, another book and a cup of coffee. Upon my return I dragged her out for some lunch before setting out to snorkel on my own in another cove, to see the supposed daily phenomenon of sand sharks coming in to the shore. After over an hour I still didn't see any sharks, so I hiked down to the closer cove and wound up in a conversation with a British fellow, now a resident of Koh Tao. As he was cleaning up the beach of trash and driftwood (his house overlooked the cove from the hills overhead) he recommended that I hike up to the scenic overlook far above the southern end of the island where we stood.

I quickly returned to the bungalow and found Heather feeling a little better, so I dragged her off in search of the trail that winds up the side of the mountain. We quickly ascended through the slightest gaps in the foliage, occasionally finding actual stepping stones. Just when it seemed as though the path ended up against the towering rock face, I saw a faded sign pointing almost straight upward to the scenic overlook. In a crack in the rock we found one vertical passage after another, spiraling around and through the final column of rock until we were both perched on the flat top of the highest point. As I snapped a few pictures Heather asked how we keep doing these totally crazy things. I had to admit I was feeling a little shaky from the height as well, as we really were insanely high up, and the return path was completely invisible as it dropped quickly out of sight, under the ledge we were on. Bit by bit we made our way back down the mountain, to the trail, to the road, and back to our resort. We then made reservations at the front desk for the next day's boat to Koh Samui, and finally arrived back at our bungalow in time to take in another fabulous sunset from our porch. After dinner, a small white cat followed us along the beach, and then down the long boardwalk to our bungalow, which was now over the smacking waves because of the exceptionally high tide from the full moon.

The cat sat on the porch with us while we enjoyed the silence of our own bay in Koh Tao for the last time.


Day Fourteen

The little white cat was still waiting for us on our porch in the morning, and it escorted us back to the restaurant for breakfast. The day was starting with a dark and depressing sky. Suddenly our songtao was waiting for us, so we scrambled to grab our bags, pay our bill, and bid farewell to all of our fellow guests, Severe Head Injury Bjorn and Body Cast Bob (the nameless fellow who was inexplicably covered with injuries and bandages from head to foot), and the nameless French Guy and German Dude. As soon as we left Chalok Baan Kao beach the sky quickly grew even darker, and we were suddenly pelted by stinging and driving rain which lasted the entire way to Mae Haad town.

It was a short enough boat trip to the island of Koh Samui, and we arrived to the noise and filth of the port town of Nathon early in the afternoon. We jumped into a songtao and slowly made our way to the far side of the island, to Chaweng Beach, where I had been twice before on previous trips (this was my third trip to Thailand). After a bit of effort we finally found an inexpensive bungalow - a thatched roof hut sitting practically on the beach. We could sit on our front porch and have waves breaking on the sandy beach barely 30 feet in front of us. We walked to the busy road along the beach for dinner, and sat down to a meal of grilled shark steaks. We scoped out venues for breakfast and coffee in the morning, and then headed back to our bungalow. Giant roaches scattered when we turned on the lights, but the ratty little shack did have a mosquito net enclosure over the bed, so for the first time we were able to go to bed without first covering ourselves with mosquito repellent.

The crashing roar of the waves was very loud and seemed very close, but we eventually fell asleep.


Day Fifteen

We woke up to the deafening sound of the crashing waves, and quickly jumped into and then back out of the mosquito-infested bathroom. We went out for breakfast in town as the sky grew dark. In between passing showers we walked further up the streets to the only Starbucks on the island for a good cup of coffee. We sat and read while another storm blew through the streets. Once we started walking back toward our hut, it started raining again, so we ducked into another place for lunch. We barely had enough of some fairly mediocre food, so in between storms we found another place and finished our lunch. We then bought tickets to get back off of the island, bound for the other side of southern Thailand, an island called Koh Phi Phi in the Andoman Sea. We then sat on our porch and read for a bit before heading out for dinner. We each ate a giant grilled squid at one place, and then walked down the street for a spring roll and some beer while we watched Austin Powers, Goldmember. We then walked further down the street to where the bars were filled with hookers and she-males waiting for tourists. We saw two older couples, wearing white sneakers and bermuda shorts, squeezed in at a bar, surrounded by hookers, transvestites and the whole circus of depravity. Very funny.

We headed back to the bungalow and settled in for the night. At around one in the morning I heard the wind start kicking up, and the waves seemed to grow louder and louder. I could feel the rumble of the thunder in my chest as pieces of the thatched roof started shaking loose and landing on the mosquito net over the bed. Suddenly I heard the lawn chairs get blasted across the porch, and the whole hut shook as the wall of rain hit. Immediately rain was pouring through the roof in dozens of places. We jumped up and got dressed and condensed everything for a quick exit in the event that the entire hut was blown apart by the wind. As suddenly as it hit, the storm started to subside.

We climbed back into bed, fully dressed in our wet clothes, and managed to sleep until dawn.


Day Sixteen

The alarm went off at 6 am, and we both stepped outside to see the spectacular sunrise over the ocean. With nothing to do but brush our teeth and leave, we checked out and caught a songtao to Nathon, the port town. For some reason we boarded a bus (last time I checked we were still on an island), which drove to the end of another pier, where we piled off of the bus to board a giant ferry, while the bus parked below us. The deck of the ferry was totally open, and everyone watched the sea and sky change colors from the passing storms. At one point the sky turned black as the water was churned white from a squall several hundred yards away. As it drew closer I pulled Heather into a sheltered corner, and suddenly the storm was upon us. The wind blasted the rain horizontally through the open passenger section, drenching even the people on the opposite side of the ferry. Somehow we avoided getting soaked.

We arrived at the mainland, jumped off the ferry and reboarded the bus. It only took a few hours to cross over to the west coast, where we boarded another ferry and set out into the Andoman Sea, to the island of Koh Phi Phi (pronounced PEE-PEE). We had no luck finding a decent bungalow, so we settled for a ratty little mosquito-infested room. We walked into the small town and had a dinner of grilled swordfish steaks before returning to our little hellhole of a hotel to get some sleep for the night.


Day Seventeen

In the morning I realized that the only place to escape from the mosquitos in our room was outside on the front porch, so we vowed to find a new room after breakfast.

We managed to find a great place on the other side of the island, which coincidentally was where I stayed when I was here 4 years ago. We were finally able to relax on the beach and read, only 20 feet from our room. We booked a snorkeling trip for the next day, and while walking around the small town I saw a guy with two tiny monkeys on leashes, playing on a step. Having never actually touched a monkey, I scratched one on top of his head. He quickly looked up at me, grabbed my hand and scampered up my arm to sit on my shoulder. Foo boy, what a stinky monkey. Thankfully the owner snatched him off my shoulder and I was able to wash off the hideous stench before we had dinner. We then proceeded to eat everything in site, some excellent pizza being made by a heat-stroked Italian fellow, grilled squids, tiramisu for dessert, culminating with a few beers at a little bar on the beach. We went to bed and finally slept well.


Day Eighteen

We jumped up and ran out to have breakfast and then met at the dive shop for our day of snorkeling at various points around the island. Ever since our brief experience snorkeling at Koh Tao, Heather was impressed with the undersea world, but somewhat intimidated by the idea of doing it in the open ocean from a longtail boat. Heather started turning a little green when the longtail boat first started out across the seemingly impossible distance from Phi Phi to one of the smaller islands on the horizon. High seas in a tiny boat, there's really nothing quite like it. She eventually got into the spirit of hopping off the crazily tilting deck into some fairly lively water, and at the end of the day she didn't want to get back into the boat. What a little trooper.

For dinner we had red snapper steamed with lemon grass and cilantro, with fried conch for an appetizer. We decided to book our trip back to Bangkok to prepare for our flight home. There were no motor vehicles on the island, and we knew we would miss the peace and quiet.

We had a few beers at the bar on the beach again, and slept well.


Day Nineteen

I woke up feeling fairly ill, and every part of me was aching. When I stood up I felt some amazing waves of dizziness. Heather informed me that I was succumbing to the same traveller's sickness that she had gone through about a week earlier. I immediately started my medication before we even went out for breakfast.

Our plans for an active and adventurous morning were dashed, as all I wanted to do was lie down until we had to check out of the hotel and get ready to board the ferry back to the mainland. I could feel the cold sweat on my face as we trudged across the island with our packs, which seemed to get heavier and heavier throughout the trip. The ferry took us to Krabi, where we took a short bus trip to another station, where we then boarded another bus for the long ride through the night to Bangkok.


Day Twenty

At 5:45 am we arrived at Khao Sun Road after a long uncomfortable bus ride. I immediately was awake and trying to push my way through an unyielding crowd to get off the bus. A crowd of Thais was pushing toward the door, as though they were trying to get on the bus as people were trying to get off. One by one they would say "where you going?" as we tried to fight our way through the crowd to get our bags. Amazing, that at this bizarre hour they were immediately confronting the travelers trying to hawk their taxis and hotels.

We found our way back to the Sawasdee hotel again, and were surprised to see all the girls at the reception desk actually sleeping, sitting upright in their chairs. We had to wait several hours until some rooms opened up, so we sat in the lobby and read for a bit until we could go out for breakfast. We checked into a room, dropped off our bags and then grabbed the first tuk-tuk driver and took off to a street of shops we remembered seeing at the beginning of the trip. We walked around for a bit, looking for some oddity to pick up as a souvenir when I looked down and noticed a giant cockroach walking along the edge of a sewer grate. On the middle of its back was a big patch of gold leaf, as apparently someone saw the need to adorn the cockroach with gold. We decided to give up on finding a souvenir for the time being in exchange for spending some time touring some of the more notable temples. We grabbed a tuk-tuk driver and pointed out the itinerary we wanted. He offered us a great deal on stopping at our tourist destinations and a return trip to drop us at Khoa Sun Road, if we would agree to making a stop or two at some stores. He explained that if we stopped at the shops of some of his sponsors, he would get a voucher for gas for his tuk-tuk. We figured that it couldn't hurt to take a little extra time to help the guy out, so after our first stop at a cheesy-looking 60 foot tall Buddha statue we stopped at a jewelry shop. The typical hard-sell pitch was lost on us, but we were polite and thanked the army of sales staff for their time and attention. Our tuk-tuk driver was a little disappointed that we didn't buy anything, so he took us to a "high fashion" clothing store. We browsed through a catalog of magazine clippings of different suits while a salesman badgered us incessantly. Once again we graciously thanked the man for his time and attention and hopped back into the tuk-tuk. The driver explained that if we stopped at one more place he would then take us to the first of several temples we wanted to see. As he pulled in to a duty-free store, he explained that we should spend at least 15 minutes inside for him to get his voucher. We wound up being captivated by an educational tour of Oriental carpets for about 45 minutes, and were barely able to leave the place without putting a deposit on a small carpet. This time the driver was visibly bothered that we still didn't buy anything, and begged us to let him bring us to one more shop before going to tour the temples. Suddenly realization dawned upon us. He assumed we must be loaded with money, and that we couldn't possibly spend 15 minutes under the duress of the hard-sell pitch without giving in to buying something, which only then would he receive a gas voucher as his commission. I can imagine that the tuk-tuk drivers compared notes about the "big fish" customers that would drop thousands of dollars in a day, equaling a great commission for the drivers that delivered those customers, and any foreigner with money to travel could be that "big fish". When he continued to put up resistance to continuing along our original itinerary, we demanded that he return us to Khoa Sun Road without any other stops, and we gave him the agreed upon single dollar for the entire afternoon's trip. He was fairly pissed off, but we now had a deeper understanding of how their system works.

Unfortunately it started pouring, so we were stuck eating at the restaurant at our hotel.

We were cold and exhausted, and the rain showed no sign of letting up. We climbed the three flights to our room and called it a night.


Day Twenty One

We jumped up and went out for breakfast. As soon as we were done we grabbed the first omnipresent tuk-tuk driver and explained the itinerary of temples we wanted. As soon as he started trying to integrate shopping stops into the schedule, we walked away to the next tuk-tuk. We came upon the same frustrating detours for shopping, so we walked away again to yet another tuk-tuk. Finally the driver explained that with no shopping stops, he would need a certain amount of money to be worth his while for two different stops. Without any more bargaining, we accepted. We first visited the Marble Temple, a giant shrine complex constructed of imported Italian marble. The driver left us at the Golden Mountain, an artificial mountain with a spiraling walkway up to a large temple overlooking the entire city. On the steps we could hear the chanting of the monks being broadcast over speakers along the stairway. The sky was fairly clear from the all night rain, so we actually had a great view of Bangkok in every direction. When we were finished, we jumped into the first tuk-tuk parked at the base of the mountain, and the driver offered us a great price to take us back to our hotel. And then with great flourish he showed us a gas voucher, and asked if we could possibly help him out. We immediately jumped out and walked away until we found another tuk-tuk. These people just never stop.

We stopped at a restaurant where we seemed to get nothing even close to what we ordered. For some reason the peanut sauce on my noodles seemed to continue to inflate in my stomach until I was feeling pretty queasy. At this point I had reached my saturation point of the tactics of the Thai people. I couldn't help myself but to taunt them; when they would ask "where you going?" I would explain that I only wanted to buy jewelry and high fashion clothing. Heather explained to me that "where you going?" is the Thai equivalent of "how are you?", except with the added perk of giving them a chance to sell something. You make a break across four lanes of traffic and half way across to the safety of the other side a tuk-tuk will cut you off and the guy says "tuk tuk?", as though you were dodging cars only to reach his tuk-tuk. On Koh Phi Phi where there were no taxis or tuk-tuks, they would constantly confront people while saying "boat boat boat", to sell rides or tours on their longtail boats. Eventually I would just say "boat boat boat boat" to them before they could even open their mouths. Heather couldn't help but to laugh when we would walk by a crowd of them, and we would all break into a chorus of "boat boat boat boat boat" like a flock of strange birds. A Thai person might not be able to speak more than a single word of English, and the only word they memorized is for the only item they have to sell, which always seems to be a single hammock. The people in hill tribe garb don't even bother saying anything, they just step in front of you and face you with a tray of beads and belts in front, as though the more suddenly they can confront you, the more likely you'll be to buy something. And more often than not, the person that jumps out in front of you has the beatific look of discovery on their faces, as though you'll certainly share the wonder of discovery at how perfect their product really is. Ah yes, this seems to be the foundation of the entire culture.

But allow me to finish my story. We then took a walk on Khao Sun Road to stop in the many shops. At one junk shop I saw a giant hand of Buddha statue that I'd been thinking about since we first arrived in Bangkok three weeks before. When the shop owner made a first offer of about $300, I decided I didn't even want to bargain for it. It was comical to see how hard the shopkeeper was trying to get me to bid, so without a thought I just blurted out a ridiculously low number and walked away. He kept chasing us down the street, begging us to bid higher, and when he realized we had no intention of coming back, he chased me down and accepted my offer. So now the challenge of the evening was finding a way to transport this giant bronze statue. We eventually bought a cheap bag and tightly packed the piece in cardboard inside of the bag in time to go out for another late dinner. I was still not totally recovered from being ill, so I barely ate anything. On the way back to our hotel, we stopped for one last banana and chocolate crepe before going up to the room and packing for our 4 am departure.


Day Twenty Two

We jumped up and headed down to the lobby, and the minibus picked us up. In a daze we went to the airport, jumped on a plane, and started the long trip home.

On the tarmac in Seattle, the air is amazingly fresh and clean.


One Week Later

We're standing in the middle of a blizzard, at midnight, on the Canadian side of Niagara Falls. The snow is whirling about us while we watch the massive torrent of black water coursing over the edge. It makes me feel a little sick, to sense the weight and coldness and depth of the water rushing by.

We start walking back to our hotel. Together we kick our way through the deep untracked snow, plowing a new path where no one else has been.


Read about my next exciting trip to Thailand in 2006, where I stumbled through the jungle, delusional with fever and heartache.

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